Hyperactive Super Steroid Lady

I am super woman. I can do anything. Or I think I can. I have gotten all my strength back- and I remember how great it feels to not have MG. This is sometimes where I run into trouble. I have had all these treatments and I can feel the medicines pumping through my veins. After having been through so much you would think that I would be able to behave in moderate ways to help keep myself healthy. I try, but it is hard not to push too hard, play too hard or stay up too late! The prednisone has me feeling like a jittery maniac with superhuman strength. I am only tired the first thing in the morning, and once I get moving, I feel like I am even stronger than any normal person. It is a very tricky spot to be in. I want to feel good and stay feeling good, but I have hated feeling sick and tired for so long, and I don't ever want to stop moving and doing things. It is as if Jason, the kids and I are celebrating my current state of health while mourning for the way we wish our lives were (not that the kids know any different) and waiting for things to fall apart again.

I have been forcing myself to lay down with the kiddos everyday. I am just about never able to even rest during that time, though. I am making lists and literally twitching to get out of bed and start organizing closets or mopping floors. It is hard for me to even sit here and type this out. The steroids have made me feel like this in the past... but this time is probably the worst. I can't stand to be in my own body- it is like I have had about 300 cups of coffee. If it weren't for the sleep meds and other stabilizers I am taking to combat the steroids, I am pretty sure I could stay awake and clean the entire neighborhood. My label maker is currently my best friend. And don't even think about getting on the phone with me. I can barely keep a train of thought for more than a minute, and I am talking and rambling on at 500 miles per hour. I then immediately forget everything that I have talked about, or even who I am speaking to. I wonder if this is what it feels like to have ADD? I am hyperactive, for sure.

I am congratulating myself for at least recognizing the situation and trying to behave moderately. It is a lot like dieting- the more I try to slow down, the faster I want to go. You know when you want chips or chocolate so badly that it is all you can think about? If you just had one bite, you could probably stop thinking about it. I now have a taste of health, and I want to savor it. I don't want to slide back into being sick and feeling weak- there is a frantic feeling that this won't last and I need to get everything done and enjoy every second "just in case".

I am looking so forward to being off the steroids all together. After the pheresis has worn off (about 3 weeks or so from my last exchange) and after I am off of the prednisone, it is just a waiting game to see if the cyclosporin is working. I think I mentioned that the medicine in my blood has reached the therapeutic level. What does that mean? If the symptoms return, once all the other stuff is out of my system and the pheresis has worn off, then the drug isn't working. But that isn't going to happen, is it?!
Thank you all once again for all your thoughts and prayers.